I have been through it all. I have been where you are, I have felt and lived within these emotions. My addictions fueled these emotions to the point of debilitation.
Change is possible. I am living proof.
I was living the fast life in the heart of Los Angeles, California. I was a full time traveling club Dj. I played all the big hollywood parties in the hills and the hottest night clubs. I travelled to exotic places and partied with celebrities till the cows came home. On paper I had the perfect rockstar life. It was fun, until it wasn’t. I found myself with no real relationships. No one I could really be real and honest with. I hated the hours. I was working while everyone was off having fun. I was shut off and shut down. I didn't want to be in clubs every night, having fake conversations with drunk people. I was living this big life with nothing to show for it. It was all just stuff.
I was depressed because I wasn't fulfilled in my life so I drank. I was anxious because I was depressed so I drank. I felt guilty for not having motivation to change my life so I drank.
I wanted to stop this vicious cycle but I didn't know how. I had been sober off and on for over 10 years. In the past I had always looked at sobriety from a place of lack. If I quit drinking I wouldn't be fun. If I quit drinking I would loose my friends. If I quit drinking I wouldn't have enough confidence.
It wasn't until I changed my mindset around drinking that I changed my life. When I flipped the script and looked at all I was gaining from not drinking, thats when the magic happened.
My life mantra became “I Want to Feel Good.” I was sick of feeling anxious, depressed and guilty. So I made a list of people, places, situations and things that made me feel good. Alcohol and drugs did not make the “Feel Good” list. I went through my life with a fine tooth comb and eliminated all the bullshit my ego was doing to be cool and traded it for things that made my soul sing. Just as you have to plan for success. You also have to plan for happiness. So stop doing shit that doesn't make you happy and feel good!
Its my purpose to teach people how to not just survive through their life after getting sober, but to thrive. People say life is too short, I think the opposite. For most, life is too long. I have too much life to live to be involved with anything that isn't adding to my life.
If you want to take control of your life like I did, lets get to work!
Anything I can do, you can do too.