5 Red Flags Your Relationship with Alcohol is Toxic

First and foremost we need to acknowledge we have a relationship with alcohol. This relationship could be healthy, you have a couple and you are set. You can take it or leave it and it wouldn’t matter anyway, you aren’t attached or feel like you need alcohol. However, if you are reading this chances are your relationship with alcohol is less than healthy. Just like the ex, you said you were never, ever getting back together with, yet find yourself texting them every Friday night to fulfill some sort of need. You always say it’s over but find yourself crawling back after the hangover subsides.

Society loves its labels. For some, it can make you feel safe or give you an explanation, for others, it feels like a sentence or a bad rash you just can’t kick. We believe that however you identify is completely up to you. We encourage you to lean into how your actions and thoughts are making you feel. From here we can build self-awareness and start to take action on some changes that are going to give you that kick-ass life you long for!

Here are 5 red flags that you have a toxic relationship with alcohol:

Red Flag #1. Lying

One of the first signs that there’s a problem is when you start lying about your drinking.

Denial is very common. Many toxic relationships with alcohol often are secret or lie about how much you drink to make it seem like it’s no big deal.

This is hard on you because, at the root of your relationship with alcohol, you are ashamed. Shame is an overwhelming emotion, which leads to lying and denial.

Keep in mind, that someone who is proud of their choices and actions doesn’t lie or hide them.

Red Flag #2. Drinking to Relax

Many people often begin problems drinking as a result of their habit of having a drink to relax. If you reach for the bottle after every stressful situation, there’s an issue. In society, alcohol use is the norm, on a social platform and is often referenced as a way to unwind after a stressful day, as part of an enjoyable addition to a meal or celebratory event.

However, a toxic relationship with alcohol uses it as a form, if not the only way, to cope. You find comfort or relief from consuming alcohol, and the appeal of alleviation from stressful situations becomes the reinforcer for continued use.  Alcohol provides relief following a bad day at work, a fight, financial stressors, or the loss of a loved one by making you feel relaxed, forget worries, and reduce inhibitions. After an extended period of use, you will no longer find alcohol beneficial in providing relief but hindering your daily life and adding more complications.

This is caused by a chemical change in your brain, where the production of important chemicals is reduced inducing anxiety and irritability. Here lies the reason why you continue to drink: to avoid feeling!

Red Flag #3. Blacking Out

I’m just going to say it, blacking out is not how alcohol or drinking is intended to be used. I am saying this with all my love, it’s not natural and it’s majorly toxic.

Blackouts are episodes of partial or total loss of memory, where an individual is capable of participating in events that they cannot recall.

Simply put, it’s what happens when a person drinks too much.

When you consume too much alcohol you may experience gaps in your memory or find yourself engaging in high-risk activities, that you may not participate in if sober.

 When a blackout occurs, it is assumed that you would be seen engaging in ways that make you noticeably intoxicated; for instance having difficulty standing, or slurring words. However, when a blackout occurs, it is not always easy to identify. Some may be able to carry on a conversation or heaven forbid drive.

They are scary and especially for women, very unsafe.

Red Flag #4. Neglecting Responsibilities

As your relationship with alcohol gets more toxic you may find it more difficult to follow through with responsibilities. This is caused by a shift in priorities; making drinking and using alcohol your primary focus.

You may attempt to let go of some responsibilities [knowingly or not], for example no longer participating in things they once cared about such as sports, relationships, wellness, education etc.

When you are in a toxic relationship you are in it. You have tunnel vision and may not recognize a change in your responsibilities or participation. Others are more likely to notice these changes, due to the disruption it has on them. Many family members or friends noticed hygiene practices slipping, calling into work sick, a change in mood, or no longer being accountable.

Red Flag #5. You Can’t Picture Life Without it

The fact that you can’t picture your life without alcohol or think life will be boring without drinking, you my friend, are exactly who should be re-evaluating your relationship with alcohol. They say those who don’t have the time to meditate are those who need it the most, well the same rule applies. Ask yourself, why do you need alcohol? What are you getting from it? Why is it scary to give it up?

If you relate to any of these red flags it’s time to take action and change your relationship with alcohol. Join like-minded women, in a safe, supportive environment identify their red flags, build self-awareness, and take action! Join the Sober Girl Social Club.