How to Tell Your Friends & Family You Are a Sober Girl
Coming out to your friends, family, and co-workers as sober can be scary, confusing, and just plain awkward. I dive into why and how to make it easier to come out as sober.
When I came out as sober to my friends and loved ones, I went big. I was sick of looking at Wikihow articles on how to lie about not drinking.
One morning I woke up, it was about 5 months into my sobriety and I was past the point of not drinking for the health of it. I was past the "cleanse" stage and I couldn't and didn't want to keep giving excuses. I decided to take the leap and here is what I did.
Why it is scary:
By telling others, you are vocalizing and recommitting to not drinking. When you share you are sober it makes it real, it's not just between you and the people in your head and your plants. You will instantly be held more accountable. The cat’s outta the bag and people will be watching to see if you uphold your commitment.
You have no idea how people will respond to your "coming out." This can be daunting because you don't know what to expect. Are they going to peer pressure you or are they going to ridicule you? Your vulnerability could make them feel comfortable sharing their experience with alcohol. You have no idea how the conversation will go, and that is ok!
What to do:
Commitment: I had a solid commitment to myself and what I wanted and needed in my life to make me feel good. It was as simple as that. I was committed to my own happiness and joy and alcohol didn't fit into that plan. No one's reaction will ever or could ever change that for me.
Tell those you trust: Not everyone has to know your business. In fact, most people won't understand and that is ok. Tell those you trust. "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Stay where you are appreciated not just tolerated. This can look different for everyone. From telling a few close friends to doing a status update on social media.
Watch your words: The words you choose to express yourself and choices are imperative. Avoid "I can't" or "I should or shouldn't." Just as you can choose your words you can choose to take control and empower yourself. Use "I want" to put yourself in the driver's seat. This will leave no wiggle room and minimize the onslaught of questions.
Example:
" I can't drink anymore because I have a problem"
vs.
" I want to be happier and more productive and drinking gets in the way"
Want more sober friends? Through coaching and community, you will feel the love and support of like-minded women. When these elements come together you will be living booze-free in no time.
You will be too busy with a life you love, that you will never have to self-medicate again!