The Sober Girl Acceptance Ritual
You are out here making some big changes to your life. Changing your relationship with alcohol creates a ripple effect in your life, almost like small aftershocks that build up and before you know it you may feel like a completely different person. Some may even feel like a stranger in their new self. Once your ditch the bottle you begin to see life in a new lens, and have a very different perspective than before.
This ritual is designed to help you say bon voyage to your old self in the most loving way possible, by honouring and accepting her.
1. Take an identity inventory.
In order to fully honour what we’re grieving, we must clarify and name what we’ve lost. What about your old self—precisely—are you grieving? Is it your ability to focus? Your creativity? Your belief in god? Name it and write it down.
2. Resist the urge to sanctify or vilify your old self.
Acknowledge that your old self was human. She is not good or bad, right or wrong. She was who she was at that time and place and she served her purpose. However, presently she is out of date and needs to be updated. Think of an app on your phone that needs to be updated in order to function to the best of its ability.
3. Take Action
Set aside an hour to “speak to” a photo of the person you used to be. Thank them for taking you this far and let them know that you’ll be taking memories of them forward with you.
Cut your hair, buy a piece of jewelry, or do something the “old you” would never do. As you do it, step into your “2.0 Version” of yourself acknowledging that you’re building on, not erasing, the self that came before
4. Remember that all is not lost
It’s tempting to throw out the entirety of your old self and feel an intense pressure to start from scratch. But what about you is still true across time? This could be something as simple as, “I still hate olives.” or “my favorite book is The Four Agreements.” See what through lines you’re bringing forward with you. It might help you to remember that all is not lost. there are pieces of you that come with you across your lifetime.
5. Integration
It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to cozy up to your new self just yet. In fact, you may feel like a stranger to yourself, or like an alien has temporarily taken residence inside your body. Try introducing yourself to the person you’re becoming (in the mirror, through a letter, etc.) and invite them to tell you who they are now.
Say things like “We’ve never met before, so I’m curious to get to know you,” or “I don’t understand why you do the things you do, but I’m willing to learn,” or “I know this is tough and a lot to take in so pardon me if I’m a little bitter and distant at first.”
Stepping into your booze free 2.0 self is so much better with like minded women. Learn this ritual and so much more in our A Sober Girls Guide Group Coaching Program. You will have weekly home work to complete, exercises to use daily and accountability. When these elements come together you will be living booze free in no time. You will be too busy with a life you love, that you will never have to self medicate again! Join now.